Friday, June 03, 2005

Weekly BlogScan: Do Blonde Bloggers Have More Fun?

I am not blond. I've never even played one on TV. But "blonde," the iconic airhead signifier, has power that extends far beyond the simple "bombshell" or "bimbo" addition. Now there's a new category, blonde blogger, to add to the list.

For example, Pissed_Off_Patricia at BlondeSense informs us that our sandwiches are safe tonight, now that HomeLand Security is keeping a watch on 57-year-old grandmother Cecilia Beaman for the dread crime of misplacing a bread-knife in her luggage.

And Daisymaie of The Blonde Moment ("Redefining the art of being misunderstood") assures us that she is "not a crack-whore, honest!" It seems Daisymaie had a close encounter of a hostile kind with the local cops. She freaks out, "I can't go to jail, I'm too cute for jail. I'd be someone's bitch in no time. "

Blond Joe and blonde Erika team up on WB's Beauty and the Geek.
   Joe and Erika,

Blonde Justice has a simple motto, "What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?" She reviews the same WB show, Beauty and the Geek, as I did, but with a uniquely blonde perspective.
The guys are not so attractive, but have occupations like "Neuro-something-or-other" and "Boy Scout leader" and "Mensa member." Wait, mensa member is an occupation? Oh, and another guy's occupation was "President, Dukes of Hazard fan club." Whatever, you know these guys live in their moms' basements and play dungeons & dragons all day.

Hunter's list of Funny Blonde Jokes asks the time-honored question, "Why Did Bush Want to Send Blondes with PMS to Iraq?" (For any blonde readers, here's a hint: click the link to read the answer.)

Blonde ALa, blogger of Blonde Sagacity, is also musing on Iraq. "Do you think Allah’s henchmen... had a Chaplain or Rabbi handle a Bible for Nick Berg? Was his body handled in a way that adheres with the tenets of the Jewish faith?" Hmmm. Perhaps ALa was channeling Ann Coulter, who is certainly blonde enough to qualify for any of the epithets above; Coulter is well aware of the danger of provoking "brainy" liberals to throw food.

Paris Hilton vacant stare.
   Paris Hilton's vacant gaze defines blonde.

At A Shroud of Thoughts, Mercurie admits he's "always had a strong preference for blondes." Then he seeks justification in history: Aphrodite was blonde, and "in ancient Rome, blonde hair was identified with prostitutes." Furthermore,
Eve, who according to the Torah tempted Adam with fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, was increasingly depicted as a blonde in 14th and 15th century paintings. Mary Magdalene, conceived of as having been a prostitute or, at the very least, a woman of very low morals, was also often depicted as a blonde. Curiously, in the Middle Ages, there does seem to have been a bit of conflict in views about blonde hair. While Venus, Eve, and Mary Magdalene were all seen as blondes, so too was the Virgin Mary!

From Amsterdam, BlondeBut Bright issues a general warning to tourists in Amsterdam: stay off the bike paths! (Actually, tourists anywhere need to stay aware of the everyday life and pursuits of the locals around them, and not behave like a crowd of blondes as they gawk.)

Geek Girl Blonde's "caffeine-induced ramblings" include a rant against a proposed f-word documentary and commentary on the ravages wreaked by reading Neal Stephenson with an "ADD-addled brain."

At Warning - Blonde Thoughts Ahead, Summer, on the other hand, shares her pictorial idea of the best thing to do on Wall Street. CAUTION: Summer's photo may offend the bullish, or those with brass testicles.

Finally, do you suppose Eminem realizes that the title of his book, Angry Blonde (instead of Angry Blond), implies that he's female? Maybe that's why he's angry.

Please join us at BlogCritics to comment on this review.


Blogger Mercurie said...

LOL. Well, as I said in my post, I think my preference for blonde has more to do with my TV viewing habits as a child than anything else. Barbara Eden, not Aphrodite or the status of blondes in Rome probably had more to do with it than anything else. (-:

7/22/2005 11:54 AM  

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