Calling Mr. Winkie

HOW YOU DOIN', GUY?

According to studies referred to by Dr. Steven Lamm in his book, The Hardness Factor, calling your male appendage by a pet name could actually result in a loss of "erectile potency." To paraphrase, "naming your most private part can serve to distance it from you, even creating a sense of competition between it and your ego."

So giving Mr. Winkie a personal name is not just a sign of respect. Who knew?

Of course, the book covers multiple other causes for loss of hardness in men, lifestyle choices like obesity, alcoholism, smoking and sedentary habits. Its cover blurb promises the book will help you "achieve optimal health and sexual fitness [and] also understand why the penis is the best barometer of a man's health."

The title of the book reminded me of the Mohs hardness scale, used in mineralogy to identify rocks. So does He Who Shall Be Nameless rate closer to talc than quartz or garnet? I don't care, he's still a diamond to me!

With recipes for food and exercise designed to boost overall health, and lots of anecdotes from his private practice to illustrate his recommendations, Lamm's book will amuse, and will at least do no harm.

I just can't get past that name deal. I guess I could always just call him "Sir."
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